This week I'm Loving: Smiles

29th March 3am: Blurry eyed and exhausted I'm changing Josh's nappy. 4 weeks of interrupted sleep, (averaging at 45 minutes a time and 4 hours overall a night) I was a walking zombie. Couple that with the exhaustion of the manic days, I felt like I was on a never ending conveyor belt of nappy changes, feeds and comforting. Glancing down I could see Josh quizzically surveying my face. And then out of the blue, there it was - the biggest most beautiful toothless smile I have ever seen. It was as though he'd been testing my skills as a mum and decided that I deserved a reward.

The next morning, Me and baby daddy tried everything we could think of to get Josh to treat us to his smile again, but he just stared at us as though he couldn't quite believe these face pulling fools were his parents. I told family and friends who ALL responded with " Nooo, it'll just be wind." But then the smiles came more often; every time without warning and every time to a doubter. Each person exclaiming "Oh my god, he's smiling at me!"..... I know!!

Now, Me and BD are greeted with huge smiles every morning when he wakes up and all throughout the day during our little 'conversations'. I never realised as a Non-Mum just how heart meltingly brilliant your child's smile can be. It makes the 'mad hour' of crying (between 7-8 every night) seem a breeze. Just thinking of that smile when I'm swaying with my tired little man, in front of the extractor fan whilst watching/reading Corrie episodes with the subtitles on is instantly calming.

Josh giggles in his sleep. Maybe he's dreaming of winning the milk lottery or the cute little girl baby he passes every day in the park, but whatever it is it cracks him up. I can't wait until he decides I deserve that reward when he's awake!